So, here it is, my plan for the new charlestoncitypaper.com:

Leverage local listing databases with augmented folksonomic tag cloud phrasings to invigorate Twitter chatter blocks using widgetized Facebook API classes. Then, initiate an intermediary custom CMS development program that prioritizes multi-tabbed thematic query forms in a cross-column stack sytem followed by rotating Flash video clips with hybrid pre-roll categorization.

Establish new editorial protocols that re-purpose pre-exisiting “pithy” and “witty” headline writing methodology to include known keyword rank boosters such as “big cock” and “nude beach” that translate into high value SEO traffic conversions. Maximize diversified platform convergence by recontextualizing content assets into truncated XML feeds suitable for redistribution into device independent content delivery technologies.

Automate self-monitoring banner inventory delivery caps as defined by maximum deliveries per IP address range filtered by a combed MaxMind Geotargeting database. Monetize remnant zone inventory by partnering with national CPM microscale banner wholesalers.

 

Uh, yeah. Strange, but inevitable, and somewhat true.